In Search of My Own Body Positivity as a Fat Trans Woman

In modern day life there is a wave of body positivity in the world. This is something that is a huge plus for people who have felt like an outsider or out of place because of their body their whole lives. I’ve noticed this movement claims to cover everyone, but there is an underlying group that tends to be left out when pictures of different bodies comes out, being called beautiful, being told that it’s good to be positive about your body. Fat, Trans Women.

Admittedly, I myself am a fat trans woman. I have faced hate, I have faced ridicule, I have faced bullying, even from within the transgender community itself over my weight. Dating is like a minefield, where one step will make me a statistic, and the next could add more trauma to me than I’ve already faced in relationships.

Fat trans women exist, but we exist in the shadows, because there’s this air among society that trans women are all either tall and muscular, or tall and slim. And these traits are valued among the community, and those who want to believe in the one true way to be feminine. Those of us who are fat trans and femme are pushed away, told that we will never be pretty, treated like outsiders, and generally have to form our own connections with others like ourselves.

Let’s get this straight. Not all communities are this way, but the ones I’ve interacted with online, and locally both value thinness, and associate it with femininity. Look at the body positivity movement. Fat cis femmes, fat cis men, as well as fat trans men are accepted as attractive, as are slim or muscular built trans femmes. Where’s the place for the fat trans femmes in all this.

Speaking with others in my situation, it’s been a similar life for them, with hate, and bullying and the extreme difficulty of dating, regardless of what gender they wish to date.

Society has picked on fat people for many years, under the guise of “health concerns” but you look at fat trans women, and we are berated with hate, we’re denied gender affirming care, access to hormone therapy and surgeries, regardless of if our tests and scans come back clean and ready to go.

This is a societal trouble. A fat trans woman shouldn’t be seen as less than a not fat trans woman. We shouldn’t be seen as less than anyone else, just because we are fat. We shouldn’t have to lose weight to succeed in the dating pool, or to fit into the community.

We should be seen as beautiful, and valid, and all the things that others are seen as in the body positivity community. Not just symbolically, walls need to fall, prejudices need to fade, and we should be seen as the beings we are, the fat beautiful beings we are.