I keep telling myself..

I continue to tell myself that I’m going to write more on here, but I’ve found it continually difficult to write, ever since the events of the last 10 months.

Between the long distance relationship that I held, and kept going with, despite the emotional abuse I faced, being pushed to and beyond my limits. As well as my 17 year relationship ending the way it did, with her walking out on me, and placing pretty much all the blame on me, I find it hard to focus.

My readers, as much as I want to continue this blog, it seems as though I have other things I need to deal with in the meantime. I’m putting my blog on an indefinite hold, and archiving all my posts for the world to see.

I will be back, I can say this for sure. Until then, please realize I love you all my readers, and I thank you all so much for staying with me these years.

Until we meet again… 

Rachelle ❤

This entry was posted on July 11, 2016.

Wedding bells?

Well my readers, it’s been more of a rollercoaster this year than last, but it seems like way more highs than lows.

Last week, my girlfriend and I were sitting at home, just relaxing, and we were talking about the future, and what we both had plans for, both before and after my surgery. Then something happened that I thought wouldn’t ever happen..

She asked me if I would marry her. Being that I feel for her, in a way that makes me feel complete, I said of course and that I would never say no to her proposal. So, my year has gone from a pretty crappy start, to being with the girl who I want to spend the rest of my life with. The lady whose name I will be taking, the lady who treats me like her queen. This time, when I get married, I will indeed be the one in the dress, and I will be happier than ever to walk down that aisle and see the woman who will be my wife standing there in a nice suit, seeing her eyes sparkle as she sees the woman who stole her heart away.

I didn’t have plans on writing another post for a while here, but I figured I’d give you, my readers the lowdown on what’s changed in my transition now.

Until next time my lovelies.
Rachelle ❤

As I ponder the year to date..

My readers, what can I say, it’s been an up and down rollercoaster ride these last few years of my life, with my transition, and my work, and everything else including my personal life.

I’ve seen people come and go out of my life, I’ve seen people I once considered friends become bitter enemies, and I’ve seen people who claimed to love me, toss me to the curb like last week’s garbage. Then there are those who hurt me beyond belief, thinking that I’ll just allow them to come back into my life, and allow them to hurt me again. They do not realize the wounds they caused me are still as deep as the day they walked away from me, and when I am hurt that badly, that there is no way I can forgive or forget what happened. What they did to me, I gave everything I was, and got nothing but hurt.. They killed that part of me, the empath, the one who would share her positivity with others, and do so much as to give her own happiness to save a life.

I knew going into this, I was risking losing everything in my life, my relationship, my home, my friends, my family.. Everything. Up until this year, I didn’t realize exactly how much I would lose, nor how much I have changed.

When I was told that my relationship with my now ex was over, I died inside. I was losing the person who said they’d be there for me all the way through my journey, that their feelings hadn’t changed, that they still loved me the same way, but realistically, things had changed, she wasn’t in love with Rachelle, she was in love with the mask I wore for many many years, she loved the person I was forced to be. Yes, I’m still hurting over it, but at the same time, it was better than keeping things in, and being miserable, as I was for many years, hiding who I was to appease someone who in the long run, couldn’t stand by as I blossomed into the woman I am now.

The family I grew to know, the one that accepted me into their lives many years ago, have all but ignored me through all this. Not a word from any of them, asking my side of things, not a single question of if I was okay.. It goes to show who really is by your side and cares, when push comes to shove, I know I lost that family, as they always had an issue with my transition, and even to the end, still were misgendering and using my deadname.. I feel betrayed, and abandoned all at once.

Now, that all those words are out, I’d like to talk about the good in my life.

I still have my babies, the two puppies, and the kitties. They know I’ve been down, and that I’ve been out, but they stand by me, and have given me a ot more attention than I had gotten from them before. They can tell things have changed, and they have opened their hearts up to my new lady, and accepted her as part of the pack, and love her as they love me.

As I’ve talked about in my past posts, my girlfriend and I are as happy as can be. She’s been staying here with me nearly non stop since February, and since the separation, she’s been by my side to support me, through my mood swings, and my anxiety attacks, to give me feelings I’ve not ever had for anyone else, she has filled my heart with love, and hope. She makes me feel whole again, and gives me the tingles with every touch of her hands, every kiss, and makes me feel warm inside with every hug that she holds me with. As secure in myself as I am, she gives me confidence I never had with anything else in my life. I love her, and am honored to have her in my life.

Her family is coming around to me as well. There was a choppy start to things with them, having a lot of misconceptions about trans women, and the transition process, but over the last few months, I feel as though I’ve grown closer to her local family, having sat down and spoken a lot with her mom, who just happens to let me call her mom, and I very much enjoy sitting and talking to, to the point where I am more comfortable speaking with her, than I have been with a lot of people who were in my life. Dare I say that I love them as if they were my own family? Yeah, I do, because their story was so close to my own. The hardships, that I can’t even go into here, but I feel at home with her family. There are still a few issues with some long distance relatives not really understanding of the situation with her and I, feeling she can not look after herself, but I see this lady every day, and I can certainly say that she is more developed than a lot of people think.

Then there is the one thing that I fought my ass off for.. My surgery funding. I lost the weight they demanded I lose, and I finally can claim a victory over the system. I will be eligible for the surgery starting April 1 of next year, so, I have a long ways to go, but with a loving lady at my side, it’ll be a very enjoyable time. I’m nervous about the surgery, but at the same time, I’m ready. I’ve been ready for years, but at the same time, I’ve never had any form of surgery before, so it’ll be a new thing for me. Maybe by the time it rolls around, I’ll be able to not burst into happy tears thinking about waking up, feeling complete from head to toe and everything in between.

Well my friends, I must say that it’s been one hell of a year so far, and that despite my writing project getting scrapped for the time being, I couldn’t be in a more secure place emotionally and mentally. I can say that I feel good about myself and how I’ve come out of this journey. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and as I’ve said before, no matter where you are in your own journey, don’t give up, don’t let the haters win, don’t let the system beat you. Fight to be yourself, and always be you, and show the world exactly who you really are inside.

I love you all my friends
Rachelle ❤

That’s the way karma goes..

My readers, last time I posted was a rather dark experience, interlaced with a bit of good. This post however, I’m going to try and keep on the more lighter side of things.

First thing is first.. My girlfriend and I are very happy, and are loving every minute we are together. I feel like I never have before when I’m with her, like I’m walking on clouds, like I’m floating in the air. I’m as happy as can be. I’m madly in love, and I could never say I was happy before, but now, I have a chance to live authentically as myself, with a woman who loves me for me, not who I was, or what I was, she sees me as me and nothing else.

Now for the big news. This is the thing I’ve been waiting 18 months to see, and my entire life to finally believe and see the light at the end of that tunnel that is my journey. I got my surgery funding approval letter. After I was denied, I had to work hard to get out of that rut I was in, but now, all my fighting and working have paid off, and I am eligible for my surgery funding next year after April 1st 2017. This means that I will be getting my affirmation surgery within the next year and a half. This is what I was fighting for, this is what my journey was about from the beginning, being me for the rest of my life.

This was meant to be a short post, so I’m gonna kinda leave it here, short and sweet.

I haven’t been happier my readers, and my depression and BPD are still present but I have them mostly under control.

I love you all for following my journey so far, and I look forward to sharing with you how things go from here.

Rachelle ❤

A major loss in my life..

Another month has passed in the year 2016, and April is upon us.

Life has changed significantly for me, being now separated from my former partner of 17 years.

I’ve put my weight loss journey on hold for the time being, until I can level out my stress, and be able to avoid major stressful situations like the one at hand. I’m still trying to keep my eating in check, but at the same time, I’m not strictly counting calories either. I’m allowing myself to have a treat once in a while, in exchange for the 140 pounds I have actually lost during the time I was being very strict with my caloric intake.

I’ve been sick a lot the last month here, stemming from the other extreme stress levels, increased heart beat, constant headaches, and other symptoms of the like. I’ve literally taken the majority of March off, either via stress leave or sick days. Part of the sickness can be attributed to me trying to reduce the anti anxiety meds I’m on, but I did learn you can’t just drop it cold turkey.

My moods overall have been all over the board. With constant mood swings, and crying bouts, it’s tough to keep myself centered when I was not the one who chose this action in the first place. I feel good overall mostly due to my wonderful girlfriend, but at the same time, I feel like I lost a piece of myself in it all. I feel that I’m in a place where my heart is very fulfilled in my current relationship, but with how things went, I feel betrayed by the outcome of my former relationship. It’s been a tough time on my girlfriend having to see me in tears, not being able to help, but to be in her arms, I feel something I haven’t before.. Safe.. They say when you are in a close relationship, your moods are shared, and I’d have to agree, her and I, we share our moods, our feelings matchup. When one of us is down, so is the other.

My transition is still at a standstill, not knowing if I’m on the funding wait list or not, I’ve not received correspondence from Alberta health, or my gatekeepers office either. I’m actually starting to buy into my theory, that no matter what I do, they won’t approve me, that they will think of other things to stop me. I have to wait until June/July to talk to the gatekeeper again, so it’s going to be one hell of a wait. Not knowing where I stand at all.

My new relationship, has been a wonderful thing for me. I’ve gained a lovely girlfriend, one who can understand my mental health issues, as well as one who in their youth, lived a tough life. Someone I can associate with, and can understand a lot of the things that shaped me into the woman I am now. She really does treat me like a princess, and I appreciate her, with all my heart. For the first time in my life… My heart is full, and feels fulfilled in my relationship. We cuddle every night in bed, I feel safe when she holds me in her arms, and she says that when I hold her, she feels secure and safe as well.

It’s been a tough fight for me emotionally, having to let go of feelings, that just do not want to let go. It’s hard to walk away from that long of a time, without being hurt. It’s come about that all the animals have stayed with me in the house, and I’m going to be assuming the debt, credit rating willing. It’s an emotional time for me, and I don’t really like that I’m always down, or that I’m always feeling really blah. I’m working through it, but the fact that I would have been celebrating 17 years together this month, has taken a huge toll on my depression and my BPD.

Life may feel like a struggle, but things generally will happen for a reason. Yes, I’ve become a statistic.. I’ve tried to kill myself, and my marriage has fallen apart. Do I like that I’ve been relegated to being a number? Not really.. Do I accept my fate, and roll with what life is throwing at me currently? Hell yes I do. I’ve started to recover, though it’s tough..

I’m stronger than I seem to be at times, not letting the thoughts push me to dark places.

Mostly.. I’m me.. I can’t deny myself, and who I am, as once I do that.. I’ve already given up, and that for me.. Is not an option.

Until next time lovlies..
Rachelle ❤

Life always throws a curve ball..

Well my readers, when things see like they are going smoothly, there is always something that trips you up, something that will just shake everything up, and just turn your world upside down.

Last week, my partner of 17 years made the decision to terminate our relationship. I’d rather not go into details or what was and what wasn’t said, but it came down to it being her decision, even though it was not mine.

Will I miss her in my life? I certainly will. She was the first woman I loved, and the one who I thought I would be with all through my transition. Did she need something I can’t provide? Yeah she did.

I admit I haven’t been the most outgoing person in the last year, battling depression and suicidal ideation and self harm. There’s a lot of ways this was for the best for both of us. It allows us to develop and live and learn. For me, I have my girlfriend in my life, and she has her boyfriend. Will there be an official separation.. Yes of course there will be, we both need to move on with our lives, and grow as individuals.

I feel as though I was the one who failed in this relationship, the one who was the catalyst for the breakup, due to me becoming who I really am. It’s a story I’ve heard over and over, but never thought it would be me.

It’s left me hurting to the point of not wanting to write on it, but I should make sure my whole story is told, that I share what is going on in my journey.

My girlfriend has been here for me since that day, and she has made sure that I’m safe, and that I am coping with the loss well enough. I can’t say how much I appreciate her being with me the whole time since the separation. She has been my strength when I lost all my own. She has been my reason to keep going and wanting to make things better in my life moving forward.

I’m not leaving this post with any words of positivity, as I’m having a tough time coping with everything all at once, but I will post more when I’m able to clear my thoughts more.

Until next time,
Rachelle ❤

Two months on..

Well my readers, I managed to burn myself out on writing doing my November project writing. I managed to surpass my target, but in the end, it cost me a lot more than the help it would have been to get it out.

Let me start with someone who was in my life, who was hurting me, even though I didn’t realize it at the time. Someone who I thought was a help to me, someone I thought was helping me with my hurt. They were like a poison, and they got into my head, and they corrupted my thoughts, and fed into my BPD and BDD. They took my positive energies, and turned it into their positive energy. They fed me their negative thoughts and energies, and left me to stew in the pain they had fed into my head. They turned their back on me, and did things that turned my once positive thoughts and energy into dark places, pushing me to my very limits. I can openly speak about this because the day after they left my life, and stopped pulling those energies, my life improved.

Lets put it this way. During the time they were in my life, I began self harming, I also was suffering from extreme suicidal tendencies, to the point of getting to and past that breaking point 3 times in the matter of a week. I survived with the help of friends who I had a lifeline to contact, and my partner who was willing to watch over me to make sure I didn’t hurt myself.

In the months prior I had pushed a lot of people out of my life because of the hurt and abuse I was receiving without me even realizing it. When you vow to help someone, and all they are doing is using you for your positive energy, it’s a dangerous mix. When you feel they are isolating you, its not a very nice feeling.

I did learn something from all of it at least. That for me, I need to have someone locally here for me, friends here, rather than an expensive flight away, where they could be doing things that will hurt you in the long run. That people aren’t always how they seem to your face, that a lot of people in this world are just going to try and hurt you if you give them an opening and show your weaknesses. I learned that sometimes, love hurts, and if you’re being hurt, then it isn’t always love.

That being said, a few days after that person exited my life, I found a person locally here, and we started to talk. The day after Christmas, I met them face to face at work while my store was lined up due to boxing day deals. They stayed and talked to me all day. They treated me so well, that I just couldn’t believe that anyone was that interested in me to begin with. I was happy. By the end of the day, I got a hug, and a kiss from the woman who I would now call my girlfriend.

Since she has been in my life, things have improved for me, I am getting more confident in myself, I feel more comfortable with my body, I feel like I am wanted, desired, loved. My suicidal thoughts and self harm thoughts are gone, and have been replaced with happiness, they have been pushed away by a lady who shows me her love, and accepts me unconditionally into her life. She is wonderful and stands by me as I make my journey through the end days of my transition I hope, as my surgery approval should hopefully be through soon.

So my readers, I am still alive, a little battle hardened by the events of the fourth quarter of 2015, but I learned some lessons too. Those lessons are what I said above, I learned to protect myself from bad people, and open my eyes to abuse around me. I will go into more detail in future of how it affected me, but at this point since I am in a stable place and still in what I call recovery mode, I’d rather not touch on it at this time more.

Until next time lovelies,
Rachelle ❤

Updates coming soon..

Sorry for the lack of updates after my November binge of writing, but I kinda crashed and burned and hit some really dark places that put me into an unsafe situation.

I am still alive, and I’m doing well now, but I will update you all my readers very soon.

This entry was posted on January 30, 2016.

Not so random head things (Nov 30, 2015) – What’s next…

Well, it’s November the 30th, in the year 2015, and I have finished the biggest project I have ever set out to do. I have written a blog post a day for the last 30 days. I have opened my head, and my heart to tell you all about me, and I wanted to see if I could buckle down, and achieve this little goal, because I’ve always had the drive to want to do more. My final word count this month is.. 50,432

What I’m speaking of, is whats next for my blog. I’m going to try a little different approach moving forward here. Yes, I want to dedicate one day a week to this blog, and to touch on the things in my life that have changed, and share my thoughts, but at the same time, I have a bigger goal in mind.

After speaking to a friend, and asking opinions of people who read these posts, I don’t think it’s much of a surprise why I was writing these all this month. I want to author a book. I don’t want to take it all in my own hands, but I will touch on that later.

The book I want to put together, is one that may make a difference in our visibility as a whole. It may help the community, and it may raise awareness that we are all individuals with our own stories to tell. I want to interview, and author the stories of people in all the walks and shades of the trans spectrum. I want to get the stories of those who struggle in the day to day, I want to touch on those who live non-binary, who identify as androgynous, and any other section of the community who will speak to me. I want to tell their stories.

My story has been told here my readers, don’t get me wrong though, I will go through the same process with myself, and put my own story out there in the collection of stories I want to compile.

 

I think everyone has a story worth hearing, and I honestly think that the media focuses on the wrong people in the community in some cases, making the rest of us look foolish, or cause us to not be taken seriously. This writing project will be to bring to light the fights, and struggles of the non privileged trans individual. The ones who can’t go out and pay to transition fully in a short period of time. The ones who are activists in the community, who fight behind the scenes to get us the rights and respect we deserve. I want to show that we are human, that we are not sub-human like we are treated by a lot of people.

So my readers, I may make the time to interview and post some stories on here, but that is yet to be decided, and I’d likely want to save them for the book that I’m hoping to compile. I can’t speak openly, I have social anxiety, but if my writing can open the eyes of the public to how we are, and how hard we fight just to live day to day, that maybe.. just maybe.. I can be someone’s inspiration.

I don’t want to stretch this out too much, because I still have a lot of planning, and a lot of things I need to work on to get ready for this book project. I will be taking the time in December to possibly do a basic layout, but we will go into that once that time arrives.

I leave this post, with words that I have posted many times before, but at the same time, I can’t say it enough..

Love yourself, embrace your you-ness.. and don’t dream it.. be it.. I did, and I love myself for it.

Until we meet again my readers, remember I love you all, and I’m here for you if you need help, please reach out.

Rachelle ❤

Random head things (Nov 29, 2015)

Well, my readers, we’ve come down to the last couple of days of the month. This has been a learning experience for me, and a lesson in time management.

This post will be a followup to everything that I’ve talked about, and to put a lot of things into perspective, so you can use this to form an overall picture of who I am. I will also talk about what I’ve learned, and how I can apply it to my everyday life.

First, lets talk about the biggest lesson I have learned. That would have to be time management, and the ability to plan ahead of time. Without some planning, a couple of posts got out of hand on me, and I had to struggle to figure out a topic and an outline, so I will definitely take that forward into any writings I have planned for the future. I have some plans moving forward, and what I’ve learned this month will help me structure those writings into a proper format, and time frame to be written. Speaking from a planning perspective, the last few posts prior to this were fairly hard to set out, as I didn’t have a topic outline, and I found myself at times grasping for content. I really hope I didn’t repeat myself too much in the posts, but I’m working on making that better in the future.

Lets now touch on a few more personal things that I learned.

I learned that I am complex. My brain is not a simple thing that I have full control over, but at the same time, I realize that I am how I am for a reason. There was a lot of trauma in my past, and I’m doing all I can to get through it, and it’s a tough thing for anyone to deal with. From losing friends, to be abused by my family. It’s shaped me the way I am now. I have to give credit to the people who helped me learn the lessons I have. The abusers, the users, and the ones who have abandoned me. I have taken everything that has happened in my life, and it’s created this layer of trauma, that I’m fighting through every day of my life. Every day I wake up, it’s a fight with the thoughts and feelings, just to get through to another day, to survive another night. These fights, have built up my system to be strong, they have built me up to survive.

The people in my life are important, and I need to stop pushing people away. Of course there are going to be some bad and nasty people that come into your life that need to be removed, but it’s not all of them that deserve to go. The ones who talk behind your back, those that poke fun at you, those who don’t want to support you in all your decisions, they can be removed. I’m talking about those who stand by you, and though they may be silent supporters, they are supporters none the less. Don’t push your friends away, and make the time of day to reach out and talk to those people who mean something to you. Have a conversation, go out for coffee, just say hi, and don’t hide away from them is the biggest thing I can say there. I know with my BPD it’s a tough thing to avoid pushing away those who it feels like they are doing you wrong, because your brain is telling you that you’re in the wrong, that they need to be gone out of your life. You have to fight those thoughts, and rebuild bridges, keep those healthy relationships close to you in your life no matter what your brain tells you.

Do not hide yourself. I did it for too many years, in multiple aspects of my life. From coming out, to being pansexual, to admitting that I have a poly heart. Please, don’t bottle things like these inside you, they will eat away at you, and they will slowly destroy you from the inside out. There is always an option to be yourself, yes it may hurt, but in the end, you’ll know who will stand by you through the thick and the thin.

Open your heart. There are a lot of people out there who are hurting, there are a lot of people out there who need a friend. I for a long time isolated myself from people, and when I started to open up, I found people who accepted me, and love me for who I am, not anything that is superficial. Bring new friends into your life, and don’t limit the people you speak to, and associate with. Some of the nicest people out there will be the ones that you never thought you could get along with. For me, this was a big thing, realizing that I don’t need to fit into a certain stereotype, and I can indeed form friendships and maybe relationships with people of all walks of life.

Your brain can play games with you. With me, it’s the BPD (Borderline personality disorder)  and the potential BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder) that shape a lot of my thoughts day to day. As much as I struggle with it myself, sometimes those thoughts aren’t actually true. You are wanted, you are not alone, you won’t be abandoned. Your body is beautiful, you look wonderful, you don’t need to change. I fight these things daily, it’s not easy to shut them off, hell, damn near impossible to do. Just realize that those thoughts may not reflect the actuality in your life.

Don’t listen to haters. These people thrive on seeing you in pain. They don’t want you to succeed, and they don’t want you to be happy. They have many names, many guises, but they will pretend to be your friend, while mentally or emotionally sabotaging you from within. They thrive on turning your worst fears against you, and will exploit every weakness that you have in you.

Sometimes you need to be alone. Whether it be to just cover your own thoughts, or to meditate, sometimes it’s best that you clear your mind, and just get out the pain in your own way. Learning to deep meditate is a key skill that I suggest people learn. The ability to clear your mind, and for you to escape to a place of light will come in handy when you’ve hit rock bottom, and it lets you swim away from those thoughts, even if just for a little bit.

Keep the people you love close to you. Talk to them daily. Reach out to them daily. Tell them you love them every day of the week. It may be tough to do, but it makes a difference in the life of those around you. A little bit of love goes a long ways to making someones life a little better.

Smile. I mean really smile. Don’t fake a smile, show your beauty through your smile. Even if things are bad, everyone has and needs a smile sometimes. Smiling at strangers is infectious. Working in a mall kiosk I can say that as a fact. 9 out of 10 people you smile at will go from having a grumpy look to a smile back at you. It’s simple human emotion, and it can go a long way to making someone feel way better.

It’s okay to get lost in your own thoughts. Sometimes they seem like they are drowning you, but there are positives there with the negatives, and those positives need to make a stand, to help you through the rough times. Don’t let your emotions rule your thoughts, and keep them under your control.

Take care of yourself. You only get one shot at being here on this planet in this life. Don’t let food rule your life, and don’t let your size affect your outlook on the world. When I was big, I was happy, but at the same time, I couldn’t be who I  have always wanted to be, now that I’ve dropped some weight, I’m still relatively happy, but I like my body more now than I did before. I’ve also fallen into the range of a surgery weight.Sometimes, in order to get what we want and need, we have to work hard, and change things about ourselves to make us whole. This doesn’t mean you have to change to be a good person, or to feel whole, but for me, it has helped a bit.

Embrace your evolution. If you look at how I have evolved, you’ll notice I didn’t listen to people when they told me I wouldn’t make it. What did I do, I stepped it up. I took my transition in my own hands, and I evolved from who I was, into the person that I am today. I have taken those words of hate, and used them to make me motivated to try new things, and embrace them if they make me look a little better. From hair, to piercings, to tattoos, to my weight loss. I have evolved many times over, each time shedding a cocoon to emerge as a more beautiful creature.

Don’t be afraid. Yes the world is scary, but in the end, there is always someone willing to stand by your side in the day to day fight. You deserve to be treated well, and you deserve all the best that life has to offer. People will hate on you for being yourself, but at the same time, they do not understand you, nor will they try to. They will keep in their own ignorant own minds, and refuse to see that you are a human being, one that has a heart and feelings, and can be hurt.

Lastly, I want to say the thing I’ve always echoed. Love yourself. You are perfectly you, and no one can change that fact.

My friends. It’s been a long month here, and I feel like I’ve grown from the experience of writing these posts. I’ve learned to be more open with my thoughts, and my experiences, as they may help others around me. I may be a role model, or an inspiration to some if I share this about me. I don’t expect pity for the bad I’ve lived through, I just want to let others in the same situation know that I’m still here, and they aren’t alone.

As much as I can say this, thank you for being here this month, and for following me through all these posts, lots of triggers throughout, and a lot of what I hope is good as well. Please, if you enjoy my writing, please let me know, tell me in a comment, or on my facebook reblog of this post. I want to know if I have reached anyone out there and taught them a little bit more about myself than they knew before. I’m pretty sure even those closest to me learned at least one thing about me.

I wrap this up with my usual ending, and I’ll be back tomorrow with my final post of the month.. Whats coming next for me and my blog..

I love you all. You are all beautiful, lovely, handsome, and just all around wonderful people.

Rachelle ❤